I’ve been doing some reflecting since it’s that time of year.
I’ve started recounting some of my steps and thinking about how I made it this far. One of the things that stood out was when I really believed God had forgotten about me. See, I’ve been married for twelve years now. During the process of our marriage, we’ve experienced multiple failed pregnancies. I will just put it out there. We’ve had two stillborn boys, three miscarriages, and three failed adoption attempts. At one point in my life, all I saw was failure, and I began to believe that I was a failure. There were people who said things to trick me into believing I was a failure. My mind also tricked me into believing that all I would ever be was a failure. I was certain, even after being saved for many years, that God was mad at me. My thoughts were that he had pushed me to the side and said I’m finished with her. I honestly tried to figure out what I had done to make a loving God not want to have anything to do with me.
I went through a depression and I had almost lost hope.
I did say almost. I began finding the books, I spoke about in a previous post. All of these books pointed me back to the most important book. The Bible. I rediscovered the truth about God and the truth about His love for me. I encourage you to get back to Life’s Road Map if you’ve lost your way. The Bible is our Road Map for daily living.
In the past, I was a dreamer.
There was no way that anyone could make me believe that my dreams wouldn’t come true. I had lost my passion during those very dark times. I was afraid to tell people that I was a writer. I didn’t want to dream too big because I felt I would fail. The more I read my Bible, the more I found that I am required as a believer and child of God to dream big, humongous, gigantic dreams! This is the way I show God that I have faith in Him.
So, as I take the year-end inventory of my life, I pull out those dreams that I had before. I shout from the mountain tops that “I’m not a failure!” God is still birthing great things in me. He is birthing great things in you! Your dark times may not have been infertility, but we all have those times when we feel like we’ve failed and there’s no coming back from it. Some of you may have lost hope. I just want you to take some time and think about your dreams, and think about how they can add value to the world. I encourage you to go for your dreams and remember God hasn’t forgotten about you. I pray that 2018 will be your best year yet. Be blessed!